Doctor Anastasia is an atheist anesthetist.

She numbs the pain but does not believe

Doctor Anastasia vows never to give up

Her skills are far more important than all

She cannot believe, she can only relieve

Morphine is in her large white dispensary

She makes me sleep so soundfully I cannot see

Doctor Anasthasia is has non believing numbness

I first met Dr. Anastasia several weeks ago during a routine “procedure” wherein an anesthetist was required. I was having my wazoo examined. I was at the age where it had to be done, like it or not. Shy as I am, I went in to the hospital and, when asked, disrobed to my underwear. They gave me a flimsy paper gown to wear, and wear it I did… with as much style and panache as I could project. As part of the assembly line medical experience, after having been asked seventy-two questions about my health, about medical insurance requirements, the checking of blood pressure and pulse, the changing of the clothing, and so on; I was first visited by the good Doctor Anastasia. She was pretty, a mere 30 years old. She was new at her profession, but she assured me she was good, very good.

“I will relieve all pain you are feeling during the procedure.”

“You will feel no pain.”

And then she too checked my pulse and blood pressure, to satisfy herself that it had now been properly taken. She checked my mouth, explaining that she might have to insert a tube to aid my breathing and there was a very small, small, off chance that doing so would dislodge a filling. 

“Be careful”, I told her.

She explained to me that she had great faith in her abilities, that she had been trained at the eminent Academy of Anesthesiologists in Copenhagen, Denmark. There, she had a long course run on the essence of compounds and chemicals. She told me that even learned how to make anesthesia out of sodium bicarbonate.

“Yes, ordinary baking soda.”

They also had her minor in philosophy, given that philosophy and medical science so go hand in hand. Apparently so, at least. Her professor of Epistemology was the renown Professor Doctor Gustaf Ghérir.  His teachings caused her to move from being a devout Southern Baptist type to a newly minted Atheist, of the highest order at that.

That last tidbit of knowledge did not give me comfort, something which I sought for before undergoing the mild procedure. I wanted the doctor dispenser of my numbness to believe, indeed, to believe doubtlessly, in G-d. Not just any G-d, but the same Go- I stored my faith in… Sorry to dangle a preposition.

Doctor Anastasia the Atheist Anesthetist

Gives comfort to her patients as she makes them sleep

They hibernate within themselves as knives cut and drills dig

But it’s merely the big bang that moves her conviction.

All material in this site is copyright (c)1991-2008 by John Stopa